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Post by ree on Feb 4, 2013 22:54:16 GMT -6
Meidono Sen - Well, I Can Work With This
As he listened, he understood where she was coming from. Being Saturn had marked her for life. It was all she knew. Trying to make her forget it or change it would be like asking her to change her very genetic makeup. It was the same for him. He was a yakuza, born and bred, and while he had known some civilian happiness as a child, the compound was home. His gaki were his (continuously) annoying friends. His family was there and the history of the Meidono name stretched deep into the past.
"Honestly, I don't know if you could be like any of those silly girls. Your seriousness, your guilt, all of that is a part of you. It's just a matter of balancing the bad with the good. You've been so focused on the bad for so long that you've forgotten the good. I don't think you should aim for that 'greener pasture' just yet. But maybe somewhere in the middle."
The "how" was the hardest part though. Sen honestly didn't know how to help Shen work to try to see the good in life. At least, not the way a psychiatrist would.
"As for looking past all of the suffering, it helps to have something to focus on. Something to strive for. Like, an image in your mind of what you want. When I was younger, I always kept the image of my father and my grandfather, in their power suits, standing tall and strong as the image of the man I wanted to be. It helped me a lot when I was a kid and I think it could help you too. The only question is...what kind of image would you choose?"
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Post by Shuu on Feb 4, 2013 23:09:18 GMT -6
Guang Ying Shen ~ I need my pain
"...Pain is necessary on the wheel of life..." Shen found herself echoing the words of the brothers and sisters at the monastery. Everyone else's lives during the past were much happier, at least, from what she could tell. Her pain had shaped her, changed her. Shen could no longer be the person she used to or be like those happy lights in the Silver Millennium; Sen spelled it out. But she was a long way from being true and happy with herself.
Finally, she looked up from the ground and met Sen's gaze again. "I wish I could be like Buddha; accepting of myself, my past, of my pain and guilt. But...I know that finding enlightenment is impossible for someone like me." Her eyes flited away briefly, but brought them back. "I am...not sure what else to look forward to aside from that..."
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Post by ree on Feb 4, 2013 23:15:08 GMT -6
Meidono Sen - Easy There Killer
"Well, being Buddha's wonderful and all but that's aiming a little too high for you right now. Maybe in the future, yes, but not now. Why not try something else?" He couldn't help but smile at her. "Why not try picturing us? I imagine you never thought of relationships before, so why not try that? Or you could try aiming for a particular monk who helped you when you needed it. The important thing is is that the image makes you feel something besides your guilt and remorse."
Yes, he was being kind of self-serving in prompting her to think about them, but Sen was still just a guy. And he had hopes and plans for the future. A future that would hopefully involve Shen. I just won't tell her what my new image is. At least, not right away.
"Or something even simpler like, today I will try and brighten someone's day. Small steps, Shen, that's how everything starts."
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Post by Shuu on Feb 4, 2013 23:31:28 GMT -6
Guang Ying Shen ~ STILL Not getting it...
Of course, when Sen said "relationship," Shen was thinking something completely different then he was. Although he was speaking of romance, she wasn't used to that kind of thing so it flew over her head. At the notion of it, a ghost of a smile tugged at her lips. Yes, that was a good thing to picture; though in her mind, it was a friendly relationship, not romantic.
"I...I suppose I could work on that, yes," She confirmed with a small nod of her head. "A relationship with us...that is a good goal. Thank you, Sen-dono." Turning a bit towards him, she took the second suggestion he offered to heart as well.
"Is there, perhaps, something I could do to brighten your day, Sen-dono? It is the least I could do for all of your help, and for... inadvertently putting you here." Shen tried to put it in nicer terms so she wouldn't beat herself up so much over it.
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Post by ree on Feb 4, 2013 23:36:25 GMT -6
Meidono Sen - ..........I'll Take What I can Get
It was amazing how suddenly he was only too grateful to be confined to a hospital bed. Otherwise when Shen offered to "brighten his day", he would have done something that would have confused her and make his grandfather giddy, but damn it would have been worth it. Instead he chuckled and eyed the plastic container.
"Well, you could help me finish the rest of that cake. I don't know if you noticed, but I have a penchant for rich, sweet things."
And I do have a penchant for you, Shen, but that will have to wait until you're a bit wiser in the ways of the world. So for now he would settle on the cake and hopefully continue to help Shen look beyond the things that were holding her back because Sen didn't date watering pots or weeping willows.
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Post by Shuu on Feb 4, 2013 23:41:45 GMT -6
Guang Ying Shen ~ So over her head it's crashed and burned...
Shen didn't seem to pick up on Sen's internal struggles, merely nodding her head and fetching the cake again, feeding him another piece of the rich thing.
"I have noticed this, yes." She observed, looking down at the cake practically oozing with creme frosting and jam filling. "It is a bit too...rich for my tastes. Then again, I have spent the last several years eating simple foods in a Buddhist monastery...so I'm not used to this kind of food anymore." That, and she spent even more time locked up in a nuthouse where she ate hospital food...if you could call that garbage "food" anyway...
Still, she was glad to make Sen happy, and he didn't seem to care about the ill she had done. Hopefully things would get better from here...but she dreaded facing the other Senshi now.
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